We were almost Eaten by Lions

We met three different groups of lions (one was alone, read on). After spending a few days in the reserve we learnt so much about these magnificent creatures, they have more interesting stories than some people. It was like watching a drama series unfold before my eyes.

The first lioness we met was this one right here. 

She, unfortunately, was lost. She got separated from her pack and went off adventuring but now could not find her way back. No worries though, lioness are fearsome hunters and can survive on their own.

I always have this dilemma about feeling sorry for the lions when they don’t get enough to eat but it is also intensely depressing to see another animal getting eaten. Why can’t we all be friends?! 

She has decided to stand on a fallen tree trunk to get a better sniff of where her pack is! 

After realising that it was futile, she decided that it would be best to sit down and take a nap in the grass. Meow.

That was when we decided to leave her because she wasn’t doing much other than napping. So I don’t know whether she eventually found her family or not. I really hope so though. The lions that I’ve met were really chilled cats so I doubt that she’ll really be bothered anyways.

The second lioness that we met was hiding in the shade by a lake. No, she’s not that same lioness as before, you racist.

Our ranger, Robin, who was taking us around, knew that she belonged to a pack with a male lion. Now we had never seen a male lion before so we were all quite excited to see if reality matched up with the Lion King. Would he be charismatic, brave and charming like Mufasa? Or would he be a reject that lives with Warthogs and Meerkats? Also, Disney was not being very realistic about Simba hanging out with Timone because Meerkats and lions do not live in the same habitat. Lions live in the savannah while Meerkats live in sandy desert-like environments. Fun fact.

So off we went to find a lion. 

However, tracks of the lions led us to a very busy area that the vehicle could not possible go through. The ranger suggested that he, alongside his spotter, go into the bushes to help us find the lions. They took their guns with them. Ok, we thought, let them do the work for us, we’ll wait in the car. Wait, what?  How could that be safe? We were reassured that the lions didn’t like the mechanical smell of the vehicle and that if we just stayed in the car we would be fine. Ok, so just stay in the car while lions roam the area. Cool.

That would have been totally cool until my dad said these 4 words “I need to pee”.

“What do you mean you need to pee?! Stay in the car!”

“No, I really need to pee, I wanted to pee 30 minutes ago!”

“Then why didn’t you go 30 minutes ago?!?”

My dad was done with this discussion. He stood up, got out of the car and went to the back to do number one.

That was then this happened. 

The lioness which we saw hiding under the tree earlier had been bemused by our presence and could now sniff out my dad and his excrements.

“OH MY GOD DAD THERE’S A LION GET BACK INTO THE CAR!!”

Remember our ranger assured us that we’d only be safe in the car because lions get confused about the metallic smell of the vehicle. Human flesh was still flesh. Human flesh mixed with the scent of gasoline oil? What the hell is that?

“AHH I’M DONE I’M DONE!”

“SHE’S COMING CLOSER OH MY GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!”

She approached curious as my dad zipped us his pants and with all the speed a 50 year old man could muster, hopped back into the vehicle. She was still there. Watching us. We panicked and started cursing in mandarin “this time we’re done for”. That’s when we noticed the radio. We could radio our rangers to come back! Sure it would really embarrass our rangers but hey its life or death ok.

“Calling Robin, calling Robin.”

“Yes?”

“There’s a lioness by the car, she’s looking at us”

I could almost hear Robin rolling his eyes. Tourists. Didn’t I just tell them if you stayed in the car it would be fine? Yes but we didn’t stay in the car, did we (thanks against dad, maintain your bladder please).

Seconds seem like eternity when you’re having a staring competition with a lioness that’s capable of ripping your head clean from your neck. Just as I was about to pray to Jesus and Allah and Buddha... 

Our ranger, unamused by us embarrassing him on the radio where all his colleagues were listening in, came out of nowhere as our knight in khaki shorts. The lioness fled.

Maybe she wasn’t that ferocious nor did she want to eat us but hey, SHE’S A LION.

We kept silence about my dad’s little adventure, silently nodding that we would never speak of this to anyone. If you read this Robin, I’m sorry.

Good news is, we finally met Mufasa/Simba. 

He was really shy and hid behind a tree. Anti-climactic after our near-death experience with his wife, ah wells bucket list checked!

The third group we met was a pack of five lions: a grandmother, a mother and her three sons. Her sons were still cubs, born just last year. They were playful and curious and their mane had only just started growing. Little pubescent teenage boys!

We first met them on a night drive when they were at the most active. The mother and grandmother were going hunting and were telling the cubs to stay put. 

I managed to this shot, a lion equivalent of a group hug.

“STAY PUT YOU LITTLE RASCAL!” It was truly amazing to see how lions had a very closely-knit family structure and actually showed affection. It wasn’t just pure survival that brought them to live in packs, I’m convinced that they actually loved one another. Nawww, maybe we shouldn’t have been afraid of the lioness, maybe she just wanted to give us a hug. Sure.

Captivated by these lions and disappointed by the bad lighting (thus the black and white photos), we decided to go look for them the following morning. This would have been our last day at Phinda. In less than 15 minutes, we found them.

They were done with a night of hunting and were just hanging out. The grandma was doting on her little grandcubs again, precious. 

This is one of the grandcubs who were very curious about the vehicle, he actually came very close to us and gave us this smirk. You can see his mane starting to grow out. Manes actually have a protective use as they protect the lion’s neck when they fight with other males. So no, it’s not a fashion statement and dear hipsters, that’s not the reason why you keep your beards either.

Why grandma, what big teeth you have. 

Oh my goodness, grandma, what bigger teeth you have. The grandmother is a ripe old age of 17 years which is very rare for lions in the wild. So kudos to you for still having your teeth.

A Cheetah Love Story

Dawn. After we said our tired good mornings, we set off for our safari adventure of the morning. Vroom. We are greeted by a pair of dashingly handsome cheetah brothers. They are doing regular cheetah stuff, trying to mark a tree, strutting around, scaring off some zebras.

Cheetahs are usually solidary animals but often cheetah brothers stick together even if they have grown up. It’s like a bro pad or something. Females on the other hand, do not and live alone until they have children (because girls really can’t get along with other girls sometimes). These two bros were on a perma hang-out. 

Cheetahs are really juts big cats and do a lot of cat things like brush their face on things to mark their scent and show you their butt.

A couple of months ago, they had met this stunning lady.

And they made this beautiful little cub and his five brothers and sisters. Unfortunately, one of the siblings got lost and most likely died ): ): ):

Cheetahs aren’t actually very cuddly because their adult fur is not soft to touch and feel more like wire.

Can you see the resemblance omg! 

But baby cheetahs can be ferocious too! Check out this moment! Work it, baby cheetah!

Another one!

I think this is my natgeo moment :’)

But alike most of the familial relationships in the wild, unfortunately these baby cheetahs will grow up with daddy issues. Daddy does not partake in child rearing at all unfortunately. The good(?) news is that these two brothers would have BOTH mated with the female cheetah so they wouldn’t know whose cubs the babies are. As a result, they don’t kill cubs, unlike lions who viciously murder cubs that are not sired by them ): 

Without the kids bugging him, the brothers can relax and nap under the shade on this hot afternoon. Unfair.

Cheetahs are definitely one of my favourite big cats. Did you know that they are actually the only big cat that can be domesticated! They can be trained to hunt and return when called.

Cheetahs are also incredibly light for their size, weighing at 35kg on average. They’ve also got portable sunglasses with them since their tear stains act as a pair of Raybans. Convenient huh.

Where we stayed: Phinda Mountain Lodge

An honest review

Mountain Lodge in Phinda Private Game reserve would be our home for the duration. Unbeknownst to us, we had also accidentally booked a villa that was meant for 8 people #oops.

Like Ngala tented camp, Mountain Lodge is also an &beyond property. I must say, I haven't got any complaints about &beyond properties thus far (except for maybe the price, hurhur); in our 8 nights with &beyond I must say that service has been seamless and they did try their best to cater to our needs. 

I didn’t take any photos of the property when I was there because I am an idiot. So I grabbed these off Phinda Mountain Lodge’s website. This is the living room which was adjoined by two rooms, which were then adjoined by another room each. Yes, you heard it. We were staying in a villa with 4 rooms and a living room. I’m not quite sure how this happened but yay. Our luggage had one room each and pa, ma and I squeezed into one room. Because, logic.

This was the room we stayed in, I squeezed in between Pa and Ma just to make sure that I will not have any more siblings. 

Yay to baths!

The mountain lodge was definitely quite a nice place to stay in, as you can see from the photos. There were also surprise outdoor dinners where you could have dinner in the wilderness (every alternate day). If I’m not wrong there is also an option to sit outside with the wild animals so that you can truly be with you wild side yknowwhatimsaying.

We also had the benefit of a private vehicle that comes with a ranger and a guide. So it was just the three of us and two armed professionals against the world, yay! I’d really recommend spending on the private vehicle especially if you’re in South Africa for a special occasion. With a private vehicle, you can take your time and decide to spend more or less time with certain animals. You can also tell your ranger which animals you are interested in seeing and he will find said animals for you. Most importantly, you determine the hours for the game drives. Certainly, dawn and dusk are the best times but you can choose to stay out for a longer time (which I chose 100% of the time) because it’s essentially your schedule.

Here’s a photo of us that the camera took on self-timer mode. Thanks technology. 

There was also a pool that we did use for contemplative reflection which my dad is pictured doing but not swimming because it was too cold. 

The views from the lobby that we see every morning before heading out to our game drives at 6am. It looks amazing now but everything looks bleak and miserable at the ungodly hour of 6am.

There were also lots of wildlife that you could see on the property as well. Nyalas (a type of antelope) were present more often than not and they were SO cute. 

I managed to snag this photo because ridiculously photogenic nyala here thought that I had food.

The game reserve itself was huge with 23000 hectares, which is 230 square km, which is about 1/3 Singapore. So, can you imagine Serangoon, Tampines, Changi, and Bedok overrun with wildlife? Yup.

Food was adequate. Fair warning though, on some occasions, game meat is served (think wildebeest).

I’d definitely recommend the mountain lodge on the basis that our ranger for the duration was just so, so, SO helpful. At that time, I only had a 150mm lens which is clearly not enough for wildlife photography. So he lent me his 400mm lens from his personal collection, FREE OF CHARGE. Service everywhere else could be improved, we were left standing at the restaurant entrance for 15 minutes before getting seated, but the amazing service from our ranger really allowed us to overlook that. If you’re interested in Phinda private game reserve but not in the mountain lodge, they do have other properties available in the area. I heard that elephants sometimes frolic around the pools in the rock lodge.

Tips:

1, Go during the low season (May-July), prices would be significantly cheaper. It is likely to be temperate in South Africa (16 degs?), but it will be sunny which could heat things up a bit.

2, I would really recommend doing both a private game reserve and a national one (Phinda is a private one, Kruger is a national one). The reason being that a private game reserve is essentially a glorified zoo. Don’t get me wrong, the animals are still wild and WILL decapitate you if given the chance but they are highly accustomed to humans and there won’t be much thrill of the chase or anything like that. Groups of animals tend to be smaller, so the spectacle points might be taken off. However, the animals are used to vehicles and humans so are less likely to run away, you get to know a deeper backstory too since these animals have been here for a while.

3, In the winter (May-July/August), you are more likely to get better glimpses of the animals because all the trees have withered away and water is scarce. That makes watering holes a great place to camp out to see some game! In summer, you do get to see babies but there is more foliage which makes it more difficult to spot animals. Also, the rich white people would also be on vacation, driving up safari prices. 

I may be a black woman

In Johannesburg, under Apartheid rule. 

So, South Africa. The land of overpriced safari resorts, where you can experience wilderness without actually leaving your creature comforts. A country that is recovering from a dark past trying to consolidate its identity. My day in Johannesburg, albeit a short one, was both inspiring and deeply, deeply sad. Racism ripped the country apart. I will never fathom how and why people would do this to other people (I’m looking at you, Trump).

Fair warning though, this post may depress you. 

We started the day at Soweto, South West Township (if you thought Singaporeans were good at abbreviating things, think again). Soweto was where the South African government used to house the poor black people during apartheid. Big mistake though, if you house many unhappy people together they are more likely to start a revolution. Which was what happened. Not a smart move, white people.

However, up to today, it remains one of the poorest districts in Johannesburg with many families living in tin sheds, and without water or electricity. It’s really like one of those UN “save the children” advertisements.

Bystanders may have found it really odd to see a family of three lost-looking Asian people. Great.

The historical and political significance of this area is immeasurable. Not because ANC leader and President Nelson Mandela lived there, no. It was the humility of the place that really stood out. To think that people would fight on, against all odds and eventually emerge victorious against The White Man.

Vilakazi Street, the only street where two Nobel laureates lived. The first was Nelson Mandela, and the second Desmond Tutu (who studied in KCL, coincidentally. I feel so proud. ) 

Vilakazi street stood the Mandela house where the man lived. 

Lots of terrible, terrible things happened here.

On the 16th June 1976, the police opened fire on a group of students who had gathered for a protest against the unfair policies of Apartheid. Hector Pieterson, a 12 year old boy at that time, was the first one to be shot. The wall above, is where more than 200 students were murdered.

And amidst the violent backdrop, the 2010 FIFA world cup stadium was also built nearby. Fancy that.

During apartheid, there was different entrances for white and non-whites, they recreated this as the entrance of the museum. Unfortunately this was the last photo I could take before we entered the Apartheid museum as no photos where allowed in. If you’re in the area, I’d really recommend for you to have a visit. It was an incredibly interesting immerse experience.

I also learnt that not all white South Africans complicit in this, many participated in the civil rights revolution and had a part to play in the abolishment of apartheid.

Apartheid was absurd. I knew that the colonial masters had an obsession with classifying things, but not to this extent. When you entered South Africa that would be a test to see your ethnicity. No, not DNA testing or anything fancy like that, no. They would put a pencil in your hair and ask you to shake your head. If it doesn’t fall out, you’d be considered black. So, in South Africa, it was possible for a Japanese man to be considered black (which was what happened). On a particularly bad hair day, I would have been classified as a black woman in apartheid South Africa. So much for conflating physical attributes with ethnicity; SJWs you should have been there.

Luck, dictated that I would be born here in 1994 and not in apartheid South Africa. But luck is not morally relevant. It could have been you or me. I have the utmost respect for those who fought for their rights. I cannot fathom having to do the same (#privilege).

Tips: If you’re interested in visiting the area, do get a guide. I’m not allowed to say that it’s dangerous because SJWs will be all up my ass but certainly, you have to respect the area. It is a residential area where people still live and the struggles that occurred are something you definitely need to hear from a local. Our guide was in one of the videos we saw in the apartheid museum (he was protesting).